Circles of Hell 1: Apostrophe Abusers

Apostrophe abuse. Doesn't sound very significant does it? But, if I were the judge, all persistent apostrophe abusers would be flung to the outmost circle of Hell - to cringe and grovel in fire and darkness and perpetual misery.

What am I wittering about? People who persistently confuse it's/its and don't know their possessives from their plurals.

Why does this bug me so much?  These are the reasons I can identify most clearly: 

1.  It's a simple rule, not hard to follow. Most students encounter it in second or third grade (maybe earlier). 
• Apostrophes can be used to indicate that letters are missing. E.g. There's = there is, don't = do not wouldn't = would not, you're = you are, and so on.
• A good example of this is IT'S. It's is a contraction meaning "it is" - it never means anything else.
• Apostrophes indicate possession for nouns not pronouns. (So, no apostrophe for his, hers, its, theirs, yours or ours).
• For a possessive singular  noun, put the apostrophe after the noun and follow it with an S. E.g. Cat's tail = tail of a cat.
• For a possessive plural noun, put the apostrophe after the s that marks the plural. E.g. Cats' tails = tails of cats.
• Plurals do not need apostrophes unless they are possessives. 
2. It's (note the contraction!)  not just an error in punctuation but meaning. 
3. My Life's Work has been reading and commenting on other people's writing, which has had a weird and souring effect on my character. Focusing on small details all the time has made me petty and obsessive. Furthermore, mechanical errors leap out at me, haunt me, stalk me everywhere I go.

Apostrophe abusers are not just abusing that poor little punctuation mark by shoving it where it should not go, or refusing to acknowledge its existence at all. The abuse is more widespread than that.


Those careless writers are abusing the English language. They are abusing me.


And I refuse to be a victim. To Hell with them all!